lifebsideben

Every once in a while, I’ve gotta spend some time catching up on my music videos, to see what pop culture silliness is going on. And generally, I do enjoy the task–although lately it seems like most of the music is crap. I think this is a sure sign you’re getting old: when you don’t understand/don’t like the current batch of popular music. But, the videos are pretty entertaining. Here’s a little roundup of eight recent videos I saw…

Nas f/Genuwine: You Owe Me

I like Nas. I like Genuwine. There’s some sort of music going on during this video, although I was pleasantly distracted from it… and it wasn’t striking me as anything special… the music, that is.

Still, I managed to find a lot of redeeming value in this latest offering. Not sure it does much for Nas’ street cred, but I guess he figures Jay-Z stealing his style and ultimately doing it a lot better than he does was fate, might as well get some video hoes and put on a show. And Genuwine, well, this is the brotha who made it big with “My Pony (Ride it)”…

Note: Neither Nas nor Genuwine pictured in screengrabs, for your enjoyment.

50 Cent: Window Shopper

So how much does it cost to rent a Maserati MC12 and drive it around Monte Carlo? I’m imagining Hertz of Monaco doesn’t offer a $18-a-day LDW on that transaction.

No matter, 50 (it’s pronounced “fiddy” to those of you who have been under a rock for a while) continues to disappoint with this new album, IMO. Maybe someone needs to cap him a few more times to get the creative juices flowing again, kind of how Prince needs to get dumped to make any decent music.

Prince: Te Amo Corazon

Speaking of the diminutive one, he’s got a new video, and maybe a new album. (I say “maybe”, because I’ll reserve judgement on that one for now). Now, anyone who knows me knows I’m a huge crazy-ass Prince fan, run the biggest Prince fan site, and will buy anything he puts out. So why oh why does he insist on making it soooo difficult to support him? This new track is some sort of Spanish-guitar-wannabe-Santana-ballad thing, and it doesn’t do it for me. Plus, he looks like an incredible pansy in the vid. Oh wait, maybe there is truth to these things!

Prince “hired” Salma Hayek to direct the video for Te Amo Corazon. I put “hired” in quotes, because she wasn’t really working as a professional director until she gets paid, and knowing Prince’s history, I doubt the check has cleared yet. But aside from that… yeah, that Salma Hayek. The one with essentially no directing experience. I mean shit, I want to get into her pants too, but that seems pretty lame. Where’s the Prince of old who would have just “accidentially” bumped into her at a club, have done his Jedi-seduction trick on her, and have kicked her to the curb three weeks later, leaving her with nothing but a couple stories and a half-finished album to show for it? Come back, Prince!

Well, one thing I will say: Salma managed to get Prince to jump into a swimming pool for the shot. That’s amazing–you know how black girls hate to get their hair wet.

Beyonce f/Slim Thug and Bun B: Check On It

Jay-Z has just turned Beyonce out. That’s all there is to it. She’s a bazillionaire video-hoe J-Lo copy now. Wait, did I make it sound like that was a bad thing? I just remember thinking Destiny’s Child was about more than simply eye candy; it was about singing, too. The lyrics were always pop-trite, but at least they could sang–which is a more talented proposition than the wack rhymes coming from the likes of “Slim Thug” and “Bun B” in these cameos. Sheesh. Seriously, “Bun B”?!?! This guy’s name sounds like on option in a hamburger taste test.

Gwen Stefani f/Slim Thug: Luxurious

He’s baaaack! Slim Thug strikes again, providing senseless pop-music-in-2005-demands-a-wack-rapping-verse services. Well, I suppose it is a Notorious B.I.G hook underneath, so there’s some rationale, but uhm, I don’t think anyone considers Slim Thug the successor to Biggie Smalls. Ah well.

But the main thing I’ve learned from this video is that I could sit and watch Gwen Stefani get her nails done, all day… or all week, or all, well, you get the picture. GoodlordGwenishot.

Pharrell: Angel

Pharrell (of N.E.R.D., remember them?) is young, rich, popular with the ladies, and sounds like he composes his songs with the ringtone editor on his phone.

And yes, I am just jealous.

Black Eyed Peas: My Lumps

This is a totally retarded song, and an equally retarded video. Woe is me, Black Eyed Peas. I know it’s like LL Cool J said “I’m selling out? Yeah, I’m selling out arenas!”, but come on. These guys had the utmost underground hiphop cred, and then asked “Where is the Money Love?”

They have given us a number of good videos from this album though (Don’t Phunk With My Heart, Don’t Lie), so I guess I can forgive this throaway. I think we’re getting to the “we’ve run out of singles, but the album’s still got legs” territory, as the only excuse for this current amazing piece of cinema, however.

MVP: Roc Ya Body

Hmm, the beat’s good, but the guys are ugly. I have to admire their video strategy, which seems to have been, how do we maximize our $50K or so the label gave us? Well of course, go to Brazil (it looks like), and hire every hottie on the beach to dance on camera for us! I bet they even had funds leftover for umbrella-adorned alcoholic beverages. To be honest, I couldn’t care less what they’re rapping about, as long as they kept their Big-Pun-and-Snow-lookin’-mugs outta the frame, and kept the camera squarely focused on the local talent.